Isabelle and I talked a lot last night... Who knows how much sleep we really got. I was surprised I was able to stay up for so long having already taken my medicine. But I eventually passed out. The point is... life has gotten a little more complicated lately... funny how guys only complicate things... Idk why I even care or why I bother worrying about anything. Why do I keep coming back? Because I have hope.
so in this story we have some ppl:
"Mike" "Betsy"
"Holly" "Gabi"
"Katie"
and then some other ppl. Hopefully any readers who need to understand this will realize the first letters of the names are the same as the real ppl.
So. Mike. He starts talking to me again... what right before school started? yeah. and Holly was like no! that jerk! just don't even answer him. But I did. He seemed to be hinting at things... which bugged me aand Holly. Betsy was also there. 2 Betsy's actually... hah.
ummm... fast forward... Mike still talks to me. Says lots of really nice stuff talking about how he views me.
Hold the phone. I need to tell the Mike story.
It's 1996ish. I'm in kindergarten. My best friends Wendy and Nancy (yes Nancy... as in Nancy... as in piccolo <3)>
So Justin was like so who do you like Grace? and I was like crap! I can't let them know I like the black guy who is really funny and can color well!
So I looked around the whole room and the last person I saw was Mike. So I said Mike! and he looks up suddenly like huh? lol he didn't even hear anything. Wendy and Nancy looked shocked/ticked. So apparently Justin told Mike later. He apparently thought it was a big joke and that I was making fun of him. So I didn't really like him at first but I realized hey... this isn't such a bad idea! and then when we were playing with legos one day I was like "so... you know I like you right?" and he's like "yeah..." and i'm like "well do you like me?" and he's like "well, yeah..." and I'm like "ok :)" and from then on it's all a blur of us being inseparable. When we'd walk down the hall since we couldn't talk we would do "sign language" lol like "you drive me crazy" and "you drive me nuts" that was really the extent of that. hehe. um and then of course we held hands eeeverywhere. Oh so during recess one day Wendy was like "We're not friends with you anymore." and I'm like "what why?" and Nancy was like "we're not?" and she's like "No. You like mike and so do we." and that was the extent of my friendship with them until highschool. :( and most of the guys thought it was really strange. i mean we weren't really supposed to like each other yet. :P there was a "court hearing" under the slide and everything. lol ridiculous. i got choked on the swing by Art and his twin... who i met up with later in middle school. we were kind of cut off from the rest of the class. farah sorta still talked me... but that was it. sigh.
so i had to move schools for first grade because back then i was really sensitive to stuff like paint smells or glues. totally screwed me over. so off to Routh Roach I was. Mike and I continued to talk on the phone, he came to all my birthday parties until like 3rd grade. And I never understood why he stopped coming. He doesn't know either. I tried to invite him. idk. between our moms i suppose. but in 3rd grade when i hadn't heard from him in foreeever... it was valentine's day. I got home from school and there was thing huge pink heart shaped box... filled with chocolate. :):):):):):) Now, I couldn't eat the chocolate, but that wasn't the point. My mom called his mom and said i was really happy and then I got to talk to him again after so long. I could sorta tell he was a little upset because mom must have said i can't eat the chocolate, but it's the thought that counts. ha. he didn't get that, and he hasn't eaten chocolate since. refuses.
In fifth grade, our graduation party at texas skatium. twas awesome. I was zooming around and all and all of the sudden.... mike is here? they told us we weren't allowed to bring friends... and yet... for some reason... which is still don't know... mike showed up. And he skated around and all... watched us get our diplomas... and at the end we were talking and his sister comes over and is like come on Mike stop talking to your ex gf we gotta go and he looks back at me and says ha you know she's crazy and i feel better and im like ha yeah. so he says bye grace! work on that skating!
that's pretty much it from my childhood on that note. but then you know the whole patrick thing...
and then now...
he had this dream about me...
"Well it went really fast. It was basically what my life would've been if we'd stayed in contact over the years we didn't talk. A lot of us walking around, holding hands. Stuff like that. Then right before you texted me I was... Well... kissing you. So there. That was the short version."
"I know why I had the dream. Just don't understand why I had it now. Lol// Yes ma'am very obvious actually. lol// It's because I'll always remember you as the first girl I ever thought of as perfect. Honestly, it sounds stupid, but I really never stopped thinking about you in a romantic way. You set the bar kinda high for what I look for in a girl. It's so weird. I never date a girl before seeing if she compares to you. I'm really sorry if I just made this awkward btw. lol But it's true. Even though we were kids, I never stopped thinking of you that way. Weird huh?"
then that night after he said all that he told me about how his grandma had this really fragile doll and his grandma is like "You should treat every girl like she's a princess" and he was like "i know it sounds weird, but you were always like my princess." and this kept going until he was like I just want one more chance. I'm not the same loser who took you out that one time. and I was like idk, i hate seeing you get hurt. and he's like ha i'm not as sensitive as you think.
I put all of these things so ppl can get a grasp of the... craziness that is... our... history. If you were in my place, wouldn't you want things to work out? Your prince charming? the guy you've knows almost 13 years? and he still hasn't given up on you?
The thing is... last time I went somewhere with him.... which was maybe the end of my sophomore year, i felt nothing, no chemistry. So... idk. I'm in a dilemma And here comes "Holly" deciding to like him! I'm like oh boy... this could get complicated.
what do i do? i don't know.
now you know.
